About Still Standing by the Choice of a Child-free Life

Do you remember the post I wrote About choosing a child-free life, in July 2013? Well, this is going to be a kind of sequel to that.

For things have become a little different since then. We have married, and have thus promised each other to stay together, the two of us forever, until death do us part. As proof of that, we each wear our thick gold ring on the ring finger, and know that nothing has really changed inside us. We are still ├ůsmund and Ina, still have the same opinions about the important aspects of life, and we basically do not feel much more connected now than we were before we got married. Still, it feels so right to get married, after so many years as boyfriends, followed by several years as cohabitants. The benefits of marriage, the symbolism and the knowledge that we are bound together by a contract and two rings, are wonderful to feel! And then this comes with children then, like a stone in the shoe.

Because some of you have asked about this from time to time. That when I could go from not wanting to get married, to wanting to get married, is it then entirely possible to do the same thing when it comes to having children? Yes, in principle it is exactly the same, because it is about changing your mind, evolving and changing. We all do that through life. But, as mentioned above, with the wedding strictly speaking, it has not really changed anything for us, and we were also fully aware that it was not going to do either. That it was not going to do anything to us as individuals, and us as a couple. We just got a little older, a little more serious (to the extent we could?), And a little more real. Marriage. One child, or more, on the other hand, had changed so much more.

Yes, changing opinions about things works well, but the way I see it, it is to opt out of children, a bit like opting out of, for example, settling on a permanent basis in Stockholm. It would probably have been great, opened many doors, given me experiences and pleasures galore. The disadvantages are certainly there as well, like pearls on a string, but that’s the way it is with most things in life. Still, I can say with certainty that I will never want to settle in Stockholm on a permanent basis. Stockholm is a city I want to visit, experience and follow, a bit like with children. Other people’s children, not their own. Was that a good picture? That opting out of children can be an easy choice, a choice that feels right and of course at the same time, for some of us?

That’s how I feel that changing my mind about something, but not about anything else, works very well. I’m sure that most people manage to make similar images in their heads, to get acquainted with the way of thinking I try to convey. That there is nothing wrong with changing your mind, but that some things are just nailed down, so well one can nail anything in this life.

Thumbs up to make the choice that feels right for YOU, in other words, whether it’s child freedom, a jog with kids, or something in between. Hurray!

Do you have thoughts, suggestions, feedback or anything else?
Feel free to leave them in the comments field!